I cannot always be happy,

I cannot always smile,

Sometimes I need to hide away for a while.

I cannot always dance so that others feel ok, 

I haven’t the luxury of time to live my life that way. 

I cannot always get up,

Can’t meet you at the mall,

I have 10 prescriptions to take but I try not to feel small.

I try not to feel crushed by the pressure and to keep my head afloat,

But sometimes I really want a tower protected by a moat.

People are always more comfortable when I wear a smile and joke, so much so that they expect it, and treat me differently when I don’t . Maybe I am having a hard time and maybe that gets in your way. Makes you question your own mortality. Makes you wish I would go away.

But news to you, I can’t be her. This perfect woman in this perfect box. Sometimes I need help too, and sometimes I need a lot. It’s emotional support and maybe some of your time. That’s just for me. Sometimes I need to cry. I will rise up, much as I always do, just wish people could understand....oh how I wish they knew....

Copywright: Victoria L Weter

2018